Ep. 99: Maximizing Donor Engagement by Challenging Assumptions
EPISODE 99
Maximizing Donor Engagement by Challenging Assumptions
About the Episode:
In this episode, I’m exploring the impact of negative thoughts and assumptions on nonprofit marketing, fundraising, and how you view the world around you, and your possibility for success. Drawing from Jay Shetty's insights at a recent conference, he shared that 80% (of our 60,000) daily thoughts are negative and want to discuss how this mindset can hinder your professional and personal growth!
I’m sharing practical strategies, including one of my favorite exercises that you can do in 10 minutes, to identify and challenge these assumptions, improve donor engagement, and foster a positive and productive environment. This episode offers valuable tools for nonprofit leaders, marketers, and fundraisers to enhance their mental framework and achieve better outcomes.
Topics:
How our daily thoughts inform the enjoyment and satisfaction of our lives and how to have more control over your more negative thoughts.
Recognizing that our brain often assumes worst case scenario when we are interacting with people and avoiding the underdog mindset
The most important thing to remember when someone responds with “Let me get back to you.” after a donor ask
Positive “Iffermations” you can recite to yourself to overcome the resistance of rejection, frequency, and assumptions
Think you’ve reached out to “everyone” in your network? Out of ideas to get noticed and get funded? Generate leads for your nonprofit or social impact business: https://www.splendidcourses.com/prospect
Christina’s Favorite Takeaways:
“You have to watch out for your thoughts, but you also have to watch who you are around.”
“‘Let me get back to you’ has millions of different options and scenarios of what's underneath that so you really need to watch your assumptions.”
“Let’s go to bat for the positive version instead of the worst-case scenario.”
“There are so many people who are passionate advocates for your cause. You just have to find one, because if you can find one, you can find 100.”
Episode Resources:
FREE Resources from Splendid Consulting:
How to Work with Christina and Splendid Consulting:
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*Links may be affiliate links which means I may earn a commission at no cost to you.
Christina Edwards 00:21
Today we're going to talk about assumptions and how they show up in your marketing and your fundraising and your storytelling and your lead gen your outreach everywhere. So I recently was at the Boys and Girls Club of America, their national conference, I was speaking there. And it was such a like jam packed, amazing couple of days. And I was really lucky because it was here in Atlanta, so I could just zip home. And I was able to sit in some of their keynotes. And one of their keynotes was with Jay Shetty. So you may be familiar with him, he's got a podcast called on purpose. It's excellent. And I was happy to, like, be able to, like fit him fit that keynote into those jam packed a couple of days. And in the keynote, he talked a lot about mindset. And he talked a lot about mindset to CEOs, executive directors, programs, fundraisers, marketers, all the people that help the different clubs across the United States operate, right. And he shared this statistic, which I was so glad he shared it. He talked about how, you know, we think they've measured it somewhere around like 60,000 thoughts per day, some people more some people less, right. And the thoughts, we think we're talking about those like internal chatter, dialogue that is just running in the background. So the average person is thinking, let's say 60,000 thoughts a day. Now, he also shared this statistic, which is that 80% of those thoughts skew negative, just like, let that sink in. If you haven't heard that step before, just let it sink in. So if you ever have had maybe a family member or a friend who just is one of those, like Negative Nelly is, you know, those like, or I'm thinking of the SNL skit the Debbie downer, right? It's probably because they're saying out loud, what a lot of us are just running in the background, we collectively just skew negative, we collectively skew negative in our thoughts because of just hundreds and 1000s of years ago, when we just needed to stay safe graduate, guard our food and stay in the cave, right? So it makes sense from like an ethical, evolutionary, Stan standpoint, why we see you negative because our body is just trying to keep us safe from, you know, a bear attack or something like that from like, hundreds and 1000s of years ago. And all of those negative thoughts that we keep running in the background are often not helpful at all, and inform our, our enjoyment of our satisfaction in our life. So if you don't catch and if you're not aware that this is really happening to you, you may feel like times are tougher than ever, that you really aren't enjoying your job. You're really, you know, like, you may feel very, very stressed, when in fact, it's just that chatter. You also may as you start to become more aware of this, watch who you're around, right? It's kind of like the the idea of yawning. I remember when I was in chorus, I don't know, in like elementary school, and we were getting ready for a performance. And I remember our chorus teacher was like very serious. She was like, no one yawn. yawning is contagious. Which even just me saying that word right now I can actually feel sensation that I kind of want to yawn, right? What she meant was if one person yawns it's going to be like a domino effect, right? Our body will be like, Oh, I'm kind of tired, too. I'm gonna yawn too. And suddenly, you've got like a bunch of 10 year olds dawning on the light choir risers, right? So you have to watch your thoughts and watch who you're around. So if you're around that Negative Nelly, that Debbie downer, you may choose to like maybe opt out of that conversation more than you would, because it can feel heavy on you. Okay. So we've talked about the stats, we've talked about the inner monologue. So the first layer of this is just to kind of watch it. So one example that Jay shared, which is a really, really common one is just this idea of saying I'm tired. So you hit the snooze bar at 630 in the morning and you're so tired. You get out of bed. You may not be saying it out loud. You're saying it yourself, right? You grab your coffee. Oh, I'm so tired. Get in the car. I'm so tired, right? midday. I'm so tired, right? You're literally repeating that all day long and what's happening there that is informing how do show up and take on the day, right? So you really want to watch it. It's not so much that you want to lie to yourself if you didn't have a great night's sleep, but you may want to just be like, Yeah, I'm kind of sleepy today. And that's okay. Sometimes just adding, like a, like a sentence on the back end can be really, really helpful to those loops, when it feels really heavy, right? Okay, so we're going to watch our assumptions we're going to, we're going to watch that inner monologue. Now the next thing I want to talk about is this idea. The next thing I want to talk about is this idea of assumptions. So we've got kind of our inner monologue that is just rocking and rolling for better or worse in the background throughout the day, right? What happens is, we assume as we're interacting with people, your brain assumes, often worst case scenario, let me share some examples. Okay. So I was listening to a podcast episode, just like yesterday, and this singer was on armchair expert, and she explained that she was on one of those big shows. Not American Idol, but when one like that, okay, and she explained that she made it into the finals, okay. And she was getting, she was like prepping her one song, which was this Aretha Franklin song, and it was gonna be so good. And it was like, so bold for her to take it on. And she wanted to do it in a pop way. And it was so great. She's practicing and practicing and practicing. And then they never aired it. They never aired it. So her like the general public never got to see her performance of that song. And then she said, and that's when my underdog story began. That's when I became the underdog. I thought they didn't believe in me. So she took on this assumption, they don't think I'm good enough to err on national TV. Ergo, I'm an underdog and I'm going to step into that persona, that identity. Okay. Years later, she come to find out, the only reason they didn't air it is they couldn't get the rights to the song. Like, like, what? So you really have to watch why is that important? Because once you take the identity of I'm an underdog, how does she show up in this world, she probably shows up on defense, like people don't believe in me, I'm not the best here. They think I can't do X, Y and Z, right? You kind of show up in that persona. Okay, really, really important. It's going to ask yourself, Where am I assuming? Where am I coming up? And like filling in the blanks of a story that I actually don't know the answer to give you some hints. This may be showing up in donor outreach, this may be showing up in upgrading donors, this may be showing up asking for a warm intro and booking meetings, building a social street team of ambassadors and influencers. Maybe somebody hasn't responded to you or lots of people haven't responded to you. Or they things didn't go as you hoped they would go right to want to just go What are the facts? And what am I just filling in? Now, several months ago, I was texting a friend of mine, and her daughter in the middle of the school year had changed schools, okay. And so they had gotten acceptance to another school and they decided, You know what, we don't want to wait, we're gonna change schools. So I said, I texted her and it had been a few weeks and he said, How is it going? How's the school? She's like, you know what? It's going really well. Her daughter's made new friends. Awesome. So far, so good. She said, it's over texting. I'm like, I'm so glad to hear it feel very relieved. And then she said, everyone there is like, everyone there all the parents are really nice. They're there a lot. And I was like, Oh, okay. And then she said, Hang on, I gotta pull the text she said, they're all really really friendly, kind of like a church community. And they're all reaching out for playdates and things like that. And I said, oh, like it's a little too much. She was like, it's really churchy. Okay. And so I responded to it, and it was like, oh, it's like too much like it's and so I took her saying to me, that they're all really friendly. It's like a church like community be in the middle of the city. And everyone is very tight knit and everyone has reached out. I took that to mean, it was like overkill. I took that to me that it was a little bit too much. And so I responded, I was like, oh, that's that's a lot. Okay. And she goes, No, no, I like it. It's great. They're so welcoming and warm. So like, had I not just said that back and had she not been clarified, we wouldn't be on two different pages, I would think that school was like this. This members only club that was too tight knit and to to two hands on and jumping. Right. And in fact, what she was saying is, it's more welcoming than I imagined, much like a church being a new member of a church or something like that. So my like, sort of like the thing that I misinterpreted is this idea of church. Not necessarily appealing to me in that way. Right? So watch your assumptions. Watch what somebody says and what you make it mean, she says, welcoming, like church, I think, oh, too much. Okay, so what you want to do is you want to start looking at, where is this showing up for me? And how can I actually lean in and ask better questions if I need to, to actually get the facts? So let's say you hear an objection from somebody who's who's a no or a maybe they're just not a yes, on becoming a sponsor, a donor, making a second gift, whatever the ask is, okay. And they say, can't do it right now. That's it can't do it right now. Or they say, let me get back to you, which is probably even worse, because it's so vague. So they say, let me get back to you. And you take that to mean, they would if they were interested, no need to follow up. Right. When in fact, let me get back to you has, I don't know millions of different options and scenarios of what's underneath that. So you really need to watch your assumptions. Let me get back to you could literally mean, I have a call in three minutes. I can't do this right now. Right? Let me get back to you could mean I'm about to be out of town for the next two weeks. Can we circle back? Right? So when somebody gives you some sort of, we'll say, muddy mixed objection, sentence, something in a conversation or an email, you want to ask another question. I could have ended that text thread when she told me that it was very tight knit community and lots of people are reaching out, I could have been like, okay, cool. And that would have been it. And then I would have really taken on that assumption about that school. To be like, it's too much, right? Everybody's in their business. So even just me being willing to say, oh, that sounds like a lot for her to be like, Oh, no, it's not a lot. It's like, it's great. It's perfect, right? So you want to ask yourself, Where can I do that a little bit more? Where can I do that a little bit more in my week or day to day life as it pertains to donor outreach, as it pertains to any sort of marketing, fundraising, etc. I'm even thinking with boards. So I've had several organizations inside my coaching program, the purpose and profit club, we've been talking a bit about boards. Because the way that I teach a social street team concept, this is your digital ambassador program, sometimes not always. Now, normally, we want our social street team to be made up of like non board members. So like online influencers, digital ambassadors, superstar volunteers, etc. Sometimes your board members, you may have a couple who makes sense to be a street Teamer. Okay. Or sometimes you might even be just running your classic board fundraiser or a peer to peer fundraiser and thinking, all right, I got bored by it. Yes. And then that resentment starts to kick in, right? Because you're maybe not seeing the board engagement, the board action on their part that you had hoped or that you felt like they promised you. So what do we do there? We fill in it remember, 80% of our thoughts are negative, we fill in the 80%. The worst case scenario, I can't count on them. They always say they're gonna do something and they never do. Right you with me? Versus let me find out. Let me ask better questions to find out the answer. They're like that is when the power of just picking up the phone, sending a text, etc. So you can actually find out what's underneath that. You may be right, maybe you can't count on them. But let's go to bat for the positive version. Let's go to bat and actually find out if that's even true. Many times it's that they forgot that it was today. They can't find their digital toolkit. They needed another reminder, right? I mean, it's like any number of things. And so instead of thinking instead of defaulting to why it's not going to work, why people don't want to help you. How do we default to why they would.
Now from here, what can you do a couple of things. One would be if you have 10 minutes to write down some of your beliefs, about your donors, about fundraising, about marketing, about storytelling, about growing your organization, whatever kind of feels the most resonant for you write down those beliefs, especially the ones that are just super negative, put them out, write them out on paper, just so you can see them. And often I find to just writing them out on paper helps to release them. So you can do that. And then from there, I want you to think about just one person who falls on the positive side. So let's say you're thinking about your major donors. And you're like, I've already tried, they're tapped out, I can't even get them on the phone, whatever your beliefs are about major donors and fundraising, write them all out. And then I want you to think of that one. You know that one? You know, that one, that one, you can rely on? That one who just wholeheartedly believes in your organization? That one who has been around for the last decade, that one who, when you call the answer, I want you to think about her. And I want you to write down a bunch of beliefs about her. Now I just gave you some, she always she always picks up what I call, I don't know, I can count on her. I know she whole Heartland heartedly believes in our organization, our cause, I know, she wants to see more people served impacted, etc. Like whatever it is. So write down all of your good, juicy, warm thoughts about her on the other side, now, you can do this for a major donor, you can do this for a board member, if that's still a little sticky for you, you can do this for your social street team. So when you're thinking when you're in that, like swirl, where it just feels super hard and heavy or negative, watch this, like go through that process, and then move over to the ones in the people you know, you can count on and really sit in that space. Really think about the people who those volunteers, those champions, those advocates who are there for you, maybe it's a staffer, right? Who know, believe in your cause wholeheartedly and think about your thoughts and write down your thoughts about them. Because when you start to take them on, one of the things that we talked about in the podcast is thoughts. You want to think on purpose, right? Because when you start to believe people want to help, there are plenty of people who want to support our cause. There are so many people who are passionate advocates for our cause. I just haven't found them yet. Because if I can find one, and I know everybody here has one, you can find 100. Okay, so you want to start thinking about those beliefs instead and really practicing them. You might leave them in the notes like a Memo app on your phone, you might write it out, you might look at it as an affirmation or an affirmation, right? So if you're feeling heavy, like for example, everybody, it just feels like I've I've I've done everything I can this isn't working. And if permission information the way that Karina from Hello inner light, she was on the podcast earlier, maybe we would kind of bridge that with. What if I haven't reached out to everybody yet? What if there's one more person who's on our email list? And I'm one email away from that donation? What if people want to hear from us more? When I was presenting at the conference, we talked a lot about email marketing. And we talked about some resistance around adjusting the frequency to more emails. And you know, it's really, really can be really hard when you have a couple of stakeholders like board members or staffers who feel very nervous about emailing more. And even from that, like you as the person who was writing the emails or the director of comms or whatever the role is, have to be the person who's like, this is what you were doing, you have to come from confidence and not wait for everybody else to go. We agree we agree. We agree we agree. So when somebody projects to you their negative thought like, dude, a lot of people are gonna unsubscribe, if you email too much, or you're really going to you're, you know, people are going to feel spammed that was actually a something somebody said, What if people don't feel spammed? What if people feel more connected to our organization than ever? So adding like a wat F to the front end can be really helpful for this process. So for my friend with a text message when we're like going back and forth totally misunderstanding each other about the connection she was feeling to the new school. It's like, Oh, what if a very engaged high touch community is a good thing? What if lots of text messages are really warm and welcoming to a new parent? Right, not overwhelming. So that helps us see the other side. And if you can start to see the other side and start to really shift your beliefs instead of the same kind of default, like we talked about in the beginning, which is you negative, shift your beliefs to at least kind of one for one. So when you have that kind of negative chatter, tired, what if I can make it through today? What if I'll just go to bed earlier tonight, I find that whole thing lightens it. So try that. Watch your thoughts. Let you know watch where that went for you. It shows up. It may show up when it's fundraising, it may show up when it's the beginning of the day. And that overwhelm kicks in. I know that I've had that happen to me before where it's just like, oh, my gosh, I have so much to do today. And then I have become the hero of my own story. And I say what if I just get it all done? What if I just do? Do you know how much time I save by that one shift? Because if I say to myself all day long, if so much do you have so much do I have so much to do? That frantic loop of negative energy will cost me time? Versus what if I just get it all done? What if I just get the five most important things done today? I'm literally talking to myself through this process. So I hope that's helpful for you. If you want more support, this is the work but the strategy you get inside the club and you also get the inner work so you get results faster. That's where the momentum is created. All right, I'll see you next time.