Ep. 92: Soothe Your Stress With Havening® and Iffermations feat. Karena of Hello Inner Light
EPISODE 92
Soothe Your Stress With Havening® and Iffermations feat. Karena of Hello Inner Light
About the Episode:
Today's guest is a real treat, I'm so excited to welcome Karena from Hello Inner Light to the podcast because l've been a big fan of her work for a while. If you have ever tried meditation, affirmations, or thought work and felt like something was missing, you're really going to love today's episode because of the way that Karena teaches this process of somatic healing and just Havening® to relieve stress. I find it much more accessible than the other traditional routes. Throughout this live session replay, Karena guides us through a Havening session specifically designed for changemakers and nonprofit executives, so bookmark this episode in advance of your next big meeting because it is perfect for that. Just a heads up, you're going to hear some background about Karena because I interview her at the beginning of the episode, so we learn a little bit more about her work and what Havening is and somatic healing are. Then you'll also hear some questions or some prompts from me to the audience. We did record this live and we had audience members who were going through the session with us, so l wanted to share that context with you before we begin. Enjoy!
Topics:
What Havening® and somatic work are and how Karena uses this to teach her clients to feel better about their bodies, decrease their stress level, and overcome anxiety
Overcoming the “walk it off” mentality using Havening to stop stress loops and down regulate your brain
The three types of touch that increase the delta wave activity in these deep parts of your brain, which send the physiological sign to your brain to let go of the threat response
An introduction to Havening via a replay of a live Havening session from Karena to instantly feel much more relaxed
Using “iffermations” to overcome fear of failure, rejection, and imposter syndrome and how they differ from affirmations
How to incorporate the practices of Havening and iffermations into your day-to-day to make a huge improvement to your nervous system over time
Think you’ve reached out to “everyone” in your network? Out of ideas to get noticed and get funded? Generate leads for your nonprofit or social impact business: https://www.splendidcourses.com/prospect
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*Links may be affiliate links which means I may earn a commission at no cost to you.
Christina Edwards 00:00
Welcome, everyone. If you're filing in, just let us know in the chat. Give us a hello in the chat if you're here, okay. See two more people are here. Give us like a hi and hello and where you're calling in from. So we know that you're here that you can hear us and that this is working. We're going to let everybody kind of come in. Right, I'm gonna take that in I see Cathy's here. Okay, good. Awesome. So that means Kathy, you can hear and see us. So that is amazing. Welcome. Right, how's everyone's day going? It's like, my day is like, nearing the end. It was like back to back to back to back. And I'm so excited for this session, because I was like, Why did I booked myself like this today? And then it was like, I'm really glad that I get to do this today. Okay, Sabrina is here, Sabrina, who? Tell us about you? Where are you calling in from and tell us a bit about the work you do? All right, we're gonna give everybody like one more minute and then we'll get started. How's that sound? Yeah, sounds great. Perfect. All right. And Karina, can you see the chat as well? Or is it just me?
Karena Neukirchner 01:26
I can see the chat as well.
Christina Edwards 01:27
Okay, perfect. All right. All right. Let's get going. We'll go ahead and begin and people will start to file in. All right. So here we go. And okay, perfect. Welcome to the podcast. Karina, new Kirschner. I'm so excited to have you on. I have been like binging your podcast, your tell us what it's called somatic healing, somatic Healing Meditations. Anytime I feel a little anxious anytime I feel a little not myself. That's my go to podcast. And I was so honored when you said yes, I will do something I'm happy to come on. So I know that so many nonprofit leaders, this is this is the part of the work that we we don't even have a toolkit for this. So that's part of what I do in my program is really that inner work without our strategy. But this is outside of my my zone of expertise. So I'm so thrilled to welcome you on today. So let's begin by just introduce yourself, tell us about the work you do. And for a lot of us, we maybe have not heard of havening or somatic work before. So let's start with that. Totally.
Karena Neukirchner 02:42
Well. Thank you for having me. I'm Karina with Hello inner light. And I am a trauma informed emotional healing coach with a focus on really going beneath the surface to what is actually holding us back from living lives of authenticity and joy. And there's a couple layers to that. And one of them is nervous system work like our nervous systems are. Some parts of them are very primal, and can have a tendency to get stuck in cycles of stress and overwhelm and anxiety, which can kind of cause us to play small and hold back, it can make our fears feel really, really big and really, really real, maybe even bigger and realer than the actual threat that we're facing, you know. And so, yeah, I focus a lot with my clients and students on helping to regulate your nervous system. And then even beyond that, helping get to the roots of the fears, which often live in the body. So specifically about somatic work, and havening. And that is because our somatic just means of the body, essentially. And so these are therapeutic techniques that we use to help our body actually release tension and stress and to help process the emotions that are held in our body. Yeah,
Christina Edwards 04:06
there's, there's so much to that. And I want to say like for anyone who's listening who's like, I don't know what she's talking about, right? Like, I just, I'm not good at this, or I just really prefer not to have donor conversations, or I just really prefer to avoid these things. A lot of times we don't realize that that's what our head is saying. But what our body is saying is some flavor of I don't feel safe, this feels deeply uncomfortable. And that is the avoidant part or that is the part that is causing us maybe to avoid taking those actions which really drive our mission forward, which is what we're what we're talking about today. So what would you say to that person who's like, maybe even a little bit like, uncertain of like, even going there emotionally in their body?
Karena Neukirchner 04:56
Totally. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. To me, I also have an avoidant part that's trying to protect me from pain or rejection or, you know, whatever it is that I'm afraid or anxious about. So first of all, it's just totally normal. And we live in a culture that doesn't understand emotions in even a really basically, it feels like you know, and so it does feel like it should be easier just to avoid them, or not feel them. But the fact of the matter is, is that they still live on in our bodies, even if our brain tries to rationalize them away, or push them away or anything like that. And so the work that I do it is, you know, sometimes a little touchy feely, but sometimes it's just really basic, like, let's feel better in our bodies, let's decrease our stress level in an actual real way. Let's find self care, that can actually affect our anxiety, you know, and so I totally understand the desire to push it away. And that is what we've culturally been conditioned to do. But it's also not really effective. I find.
Christina Edwards 06:08
There's this moment in my life, that's like, I just remember it. It's there. It's like ingrained, which is I'm like, maybe 1211 12 years old, and I'm playing basketball. And I fall, and the coach, my dad, the key players walk it off, walk it off, and I was in pain, and ultimately, fractured just a little part. But it was that walk it off mentality. And I think that there is this, walk it off mentality, the older we get, as adults, it's like walk it off, walk off that thing, put your feelings over here on a shelf, never to be seen or heard from again, get back out there. And that's, that's that kind of piece that I've really learned that keeps us stuck, that keeps us stuck. Will you talk a little bit about the science behind this because in in getting ready for this, we talked about, you know, like boosting, you know, some of the positive emotions, the happiness chemicals in your brain. So let's like talk about some of the science
Karena Neukirchner 07:05
totally. So we're actually going to do a havening exercise together a little later. So let me tell you specifically about the science of havening. So havening is a somatosensory sort of process where we use soothing touch to affect our brain, which is really interesting, because what most people don't realize is we, you know, we're like, oh, I have stress, oh, I have emotions, oh, you know, these things happen. But what happens oftentimes, is that we're actually stuck in a cycle of stress, or we're stuck in a cycle of overwhelm, or we're stuck in a cycle of anxiety, where parts of our brain are continuing to loop over and over and over again, in those stress cycles. Like when you were talking about the Wocket off mentality, all I could think about was how bad I burned myself out doing that, you know, like, I guess, open to complete adrenal fatigue, you know, because I was just trying to be the good girl do the right thing, keep going, keep going, keep going, you know, when we're kind of stuck in these loops, it can be really hard to rationalize our way out of them. And again, our society doesn't give us really good tools to get out of those. And so one tool that I found that's been incredible, is havening, because the science behind it is that we use the soothing touch, which I'll walk you through in a little while, but it actually down regulates our amygdala, which might sound kind of weird, but your amygdala is kind of like the stress or the kingpin of your stress and trauma response in your brain. And so it is one of those primal parts that will keep you looping in cycles of stress, it will continue to tell your kidneys to pump out adrenaline or your adrenal glands to pump out adrenaline, you know, it will keep your stress hormone levels high. And what they've shown is that when we do this type of soothing touch, it sends delta waves through the amygdala. And those delta waves communicate to the amygdala, you're safe, it's okay. And so the amygdala actually starts reversing its message that we don't have to pump out as much adrenaline can now pump out serotonin and dopamine and oxytocin. So we have this rise of the happiness chemicals, and we have a decrease of the stress chemicals. And it's a way for our body to actually help our brain come out of that stress cycle that we tend to get stuck in. And it's really deeply effective. Because most of the time we're trying to get out of stress by solving problems with our conscious mind or talking ourselves out of it or just doing the same thing we've done a million times already before that hasn't worked, you know, and this actually works in a really different way.
Christina Edwards 09:44
Yeah, there's so much to that. I think that there is that that culture of like more, do more, do more, do more. And that is the other side of that is burnout. The other side of that is exactly what you experience. You talked about yourself. experiencing. And I think that that's why I think whenever we're about to do something that feels challenging and feels like, expansive and feels maybe even hard or daring, or Oddish audacious, which a lot of leaders do think there's the before, like the lead up to the thing, there's the actual thing. And then there's like the post show thing. And as you were describing that process for me, it's, if I'm, if I'm feeling scared, or nervous, or something, that'd be a lot of anxiety, a lot of inner chatter, and that lead up the actual thing, I tend to like, it wasn't as bad as the lead up, right. But the post game, the post show of that I am D pleated. I am. And that's I think, speaks to all of the hormones and things like that, that we're trying to rise to my the occasion of all the anxiety in my body. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah, so our body is like trying to to help us as best as possible. And so that's really where this practice can come in and help kind of defuse that, on that on that front end.
Karena Neukirchner 11:03
Right, right. Well, because our amygdala is meant to keep us alive, which is like, very good, we're so happy about that. And it acts so quick. It's way faster than our conscious mind. Like, if you stepped off a curb, and then you saw a bicycle barreling towards you, it would take like point seven, five milliseconds to just pull you back or no 75 milliseconds to just pull you back before you'd had any other thoughts before any other part of your brain had noticed that that bike was barreling towards you it will keep you safe. And but it's constantly looking for threat. And it was really evolved when humans were in a completely different life, you know, and so now our threat response goes off because we get a nasty email or something. And now cortisol is pumping through our bodies, like a tiger is chasing us, right. And it's no longer an appropriate stress response for what we're actually experiencing. But it still feels like threat to our amygdala, right. And even emotions, big emotions can feel like threat to our amygdala and, and so that's how we kind of get stuck in these stress cycles is that this just evolved for a different life than what we're living and trying to keep us alive, but it's often a little bit too protective, a little bit too overactive?
Christina Edwards 12:17
Yeah, it's like overcompensating. It's like, yeah, exactly. So thank you for that explanation. Because I hope I think that helps give everybody context. So let's dig in. Let's do our let's do a mini session, talk to us about what to expect. And we'll kind of hand it over to you. And as we go through this, we will have time for q&a. So for anyone that's on live, if you have any questions, you can just push, type them in the chat. Yeah, yeah.
Karena Neukirchner 12:45
All right. So let me just describe how to do havening. And we'll start doing that together. So again, I told you, it's soothing touch. And one of the ways to do the havening touch is just to Rub your palms together. So palm to palm havening. Yep, exactly, at whatever pay some pressure feels good. The other way, or the second way to do it is down your arms from shoulder to elbow, shoulder to elbow, shoulder to elbow just going down. And the third way to do it is anywhere on your face, cheeks or forehead, so you could rub your cheeks, you can rub your forehead, you know, I'm on camera, so I won't go too crazy. But you know, like, if you're just by yourself, you can do whatever feels good, rub your whole face, close your eyes or not. And again, there have been studies that show that these three types of touch, increase the delta wave activity in these deep parts of your brain, which is sending that physiological sign to your brain, like we can let go of the threat response, we can let go of the stress response, we're safe. So we're going to do this evening touch for a few minutes together. And for today's exercise, I'm just going to start with some very generic nervous system regulation techniques, one of the most effective nervous system regulation techniques that we can do with havening. Because this can be used anytime that you're feeling nervous, or you're feeling anxious, or you're feeling overwhelmed, or you're feeling pressure, right. This is really effective to help your body and bring you you know, boost your mood, bring those stress hormones down, soothe your stress on a deep body level. And then we're going to move into more specific stuff for for maybe if you're feeling impostor syndrome, or fear of rejection or whatever might come up when you're working with donors and that sort of thing. So just doing the havening touch, just begin to look around your environment. You kind of just gently move your eyes and head and neck and take in the colors and the textures and the shapes and notice if you can and find two shades of green and three shades of yellow. And notice something shiny. And notice something that looks soft. Great. And then if you feel comfortable, you can let your eyes close and just keep doing the havening touch and you're moving between the palms and the arms and the face havening in whatever way feels right. So if you like one of them a lot, you do that one extra. If one of them you don't like you can skip it, you're just kind of intuitively doing whatever feels right. But with your eyes closed, begin to listen to all of the sounds that you can hear. So you can hear my voice. And you might be able to actually hear the havening it makes a little bit of a sound. Or maybe you can hear your breath. Maybe you can hear like a furnace or a fan or animals or people in the background. So just take a nice breath and listen to the closest sound to you right now. And then really feel the havening touch so you can feel the temperature of your skin. You can feel the texture of your palms right, they have all those little lines crossing them. And you can feel the texture of your fingertips. And you can feel the gentle movement and the gentle pressure of the touch. And again, you're just doing the havening in whatever way feels right homes, down your arms or on your face. There's no way to do it wrong. Now just notice that as you hear the sounds, and as you feel the havening touched, maybe you can also feel your body resting on the chair or the couch that you're sitting on. Like you can notice where your weight is resting the most right now. And you can feel the contact of your body with the couch or the chair noticing if that contact if it's soft or hard bumpy or smooth and just breathing and you may already be feeling kind of different than when you started. So just feeling and noticing how you're feeling as you take a few more breaths and then when you feel ready, you can let your eyes open. And again, find the Greens when the yellow find the shiny thing. And just notice how you feel. So that's just a really basic and quick nervous system regulation technique that is so helpful when you're feeling scattered or you're feeling nervous or you're feeling stressed or pressured. It's a quick way to kind of come back to your body. And like I said it will be decreasing those stress hormones and increasing those happiness hormones. It's telling your amygdala you're safe and you're okay. So how do you feel Christina?
Christina Edwards 19:28
Oh my gosh. Like teknicks comer like, and I caught myself it was probably like 25% in do this. That came out like unintentionally, you know, it just came out and then there were a few more later and wow, yeah. Much more relaxed. Yeah, for sure. That was beautiful. Yeah, Sabrina says relaxed. Yeah, totally.
Karena Neukirchner 19:52
So that's just a lovely quick and effective way to bring yourself into a different state. And again, we're working with our boss Ready to come into a new state. We're not trying to convince our mind to relax, right? Tell yourself to relax. It doesn't necessarily do anything but show your body you're safe by coming into connection, doing the havening. And all of a sudden, real things shift. This is what I love about havening is it's like the self care we've all been longing for, because it actually makes a big difference.
Christina Edwards 20:21
Yeah, what you just said popped into my head. It's like telling a child calm down or being told to calm down like you're in an argument or to calm down, you're like that is escalating me that so when you tell yourself just don't be anxious, just don't write. You're definitely it's not working. And I shared with you in the greenroom earlier that we were almost in a kind of a fender bender a while back and we like my husband kind of steered off the road and I watched my son get really scared me even though we didn't actually there was no accident, right? He steered off the road to prevent the accident and he got very upset. And I could in that moment, go calm down. We're fine. But actually was I was like, watch this Bubs just do this with me. We're just gonna do this. And it gave him something to do right. And for her his I guess body to focus on and less because his brain in that moment was like,
Karena Neukirchner 21:19
up. Yeah. Yeah. His amygdala had registered threat very accurately. Right? Yes.
Christina Edwards 21:25
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it worked. It was such a good it was such a good like mom hack to have in my tool belt. Because you can reason your way we're fine. There's nothing to worry about. Bla bla. But like, yeah, the body is like, we're not fine. We're scared. Yeah. So I love it. Perfect. So we can do this type of stuff. Literally park your car before a meeting or before a zoom call something like that. Yeah. Yeah,
Karena Neukirchner 21:52
exactly, exactly. Because it just brings you into a different relationship with your breath with your body. And like you said, it gives you something to do, which feels so good when you're feeling out of control or anxious or something, you know, because it's something effective to do to so you don't have to be as afraid of your emotions or you know, of whatever sort of stress cycle or spiral, you know, can potentially happen when you are under pressure or, you know, already overwhelmed. Exactly, yeah. Yeah. And then you mentioned that, you know, some of the things that people struggle with in your audience could be like imposter syndrome, fear of failure, fear of rejection, just nerves in general, because of high situations. Yeah. So I have another thing that we can do, we're still going to do the havening. And this also comes from the havening, world duck, they're called informations. So just like you already mentioned, if you just tell yourself to calm down, that doesn't necessarily actually calm you in any way. The same thing is that, you know, it's popular in our culture to do affirmations, which are like, I'm happy, I'm fine, it's all gonna be good, you know, and those could work for some people. But for most people, I find they feel kind of fake. Or they even feel like sort of like, pressure, like, oh, shoot, I'm supposed to be fine, everybody else is fine, but I don't feel fine at all, you know. So these informations are just a softer way to open us up to more possibilities, without feeling fake and phony like affirmations do. So we've just put what if at the beginning of affirmations, and so I just made a list of some informations that your audience might really like. So you do these with the havening touch just because the havening will make it more effective and more soothing. So let's imagine that you're about to do a donor meeting and you're feeling however you're feeling maybe you're feeling self judgmental, and maybe you're feeling self conscious, you know, I don't know, for you. And the first thing we do with informations is we just kind of acknowledge what we're actually feeling and try to normalize it because, like I said, Before, when we try to push our emotions away, they don't have anywhere to go, there is no a way that doesn't exist. And so the more we resist them, the more power they have in our lives. So my first set of informations are just to kind of accept and acknowledge how you're feeling. So you're imagining that you're before a donor meeting and I'm going to read these and then you can just repeat them. You don't have to repeat it out loud, Christina, but everybody can just repeat it to themselves. So what if it's okay that I feel this way right now? What if lots of people struggle like this sometimes? What if there's nothing wrong with me for feeling this way? What if my feelings actually make sense in a way what would it be like to acknowledge what I'm really feeling and love myself anyway what would it be like to soften my heart to myself and this moment what if it's okay to feel this way knowing that I won't always feel this way what would it be like if I looked at myself through gentler eyes right now so yeah, with those affirmations, we're decreasing our resistance to our own feelings and we're having some compassion, right which is a really resourcing and nourishing thing to do. And that I have some more informations that can kind of open you up to like greater possibilities you know, so you've met yourself where you are you're bringing down your stress level with the havening and so my first one of that list is what if everything works out what if things go even better than I imagined? What would it be like to have my own back even if things go wrong? What if I have nothing to prove? What if my worth isn't tied to my performance or my actions What if I'm whole complete and worthy just as I am? What if I belong to myself no matter how I perform what if I'm allowed to be imperfect and make mistakes? What if it's safe for me to be human? What would it be like if I honored my vulnerabilities as well as my strength? Who could I become if I believed in my potential? What if my voice and my contributions matter what if it's no coincidence that I've made it this far? What if I'm ready? What if everything goes well? And then you can just finish the sentence for yourself in your head. What if everything goes well, because? Yeah, so just noticing how those informations feel how they can kind of bring even more relaxation into your mind into your body. And they don't really feel like you're having to fake it or force it. They often feel like oh, maybe oh, maybe Oh, interesting. You know, there's like this. There's like this spaciousness, that creates a little bit more space for different perspective to sneak in a deeper breath to, you know, come on in a little bit more compassion and gentleness, a little more realness, honestly, because a lot of times we have kind of a perception that we have to be so perfect or so you know, invulnerable, almost like a robot or something, you know, and it's yeah, we're just human here. Oh,
Christina Edwards 29:57
those were beautiful. Y'all have the chat. Tell I mean, if you liked the affirmations, I felt like I want these in cards, I want it printed out like they were so great. And I the for me, they're very, very different than a traditional affirmation. Because affirmations can be hard to believe in this felt like this kind of is like loosening the grip of maybe the imposter syndrome, or the anxiety or whatever kind of the loop was. And also it just, it I got a little emotional thinking about the, the, the audience of of nonprofit leaders and changemakers and social impact professionals who, if they thought this more often, or had a little bit of this in their toolkit, what they would go out and do what they would be willing. Yeah. Who Yeah, Kathy says, I liked how they opened the opportunity. Exactly. Because if you go to bat for what could work out, imagine what you'll do, right? Like, and then if your body is with you, moments to it's like doesn't feel as scary.
Karena Neukirchner 31:05
Totally Yeah. And I like how you say that you felt more relaxed, more released open, because in somatic work, it is all the difference is how your body feels, you know what I mean? Because we sometimes get disconnected from our bodies through just inculturation and all that sort of stuff. But um, it's huge. If you're saying affirmations, and they feel tense in your body, then guess what they feel tense in your emotions in your mind, too. And if you say these, there's like this, oh, I can relax a little I can breathe a little. And that really does make all the difference. Like it's a significant difference, that it feels good to your body.
Christina Edwards 31:43
Yeah. How would you recommend people incorporate this work? Because like anything, I would imagine you need to like, incorporate it into your practice right into your week or something like that? Or how can they use this type of work?
Karena Neukirchner 32:01
Totally. That's such a good question. Well, the cool thing about this nervous system regulation work is that the effects are cumulative. So it makes you feel better in the moment, right, I think we all feel a little bit different than we did before we started the havening, before we started the affirmations. But just like if you do cardio once, right, it feels good. But it's not like necessarily going to make a huge change in your health. Like, you know, I always tell people, like, if you only do nervous system regulation, when you're already upset, it's like flossing, when your gums are already bleeding, which is great, do it, it's better than not doing it, you know what I mean? That I'm not like anyone for that. But if you actually do it regularly, then your whole nervous system begins to move into this more regulated space, it has more access to it, and you can or more comfortably when you're not stressed. And when you're stressed, you know, so it almost becomes like a little highway in your nervous system that you know, the travel.
Christina Edwards 33:00
That's a light bulb moment, because I was thinking of this in the when I feel this, let me lean on that. And what I hear you saying is like, you can actually build up your own, I guess, like nervous system regulation, when you're doing it in the non anxious times the non like, we bring it in. Okay, cool. So maybe like in the morning or before bed or something like that, when before that before the like stress of the day before that part would be a good time.
Karena Neukirchner 33:31
Anytime you do it honestly is fantastic. Like if you're a very structured thinker, and you want to put it in every morning. That's great. I often do it just at random times in my day, because I'm like, oh, you know what, I kind of want to snap at my kids right now. So instead of snapping at my kids, why don't I take five minutes and breathe and Haven you know, like, and then I'll just like, I wound sourced you know, like, I show up as a different person. So So yeah, but the more you do it, the more it I mean, our our brains are wired for neuroplasticity, it's amazing the change that we can actually make when we practice these things regularly. So I do at least one nervous system regulation exercise a day, because they're usually pretty quick, pretty effective. And I always feel better. Anyway. So this is it's my favorite self care because it's self care. That actually makes me feel better in the short term and rewires my capacity for calm and expands my capacity for you know, being compassionate and thoughtful and present. You know, in the long run as well. So, yeah.
Christina Edwards 34:40
So whenever. Yeah, exactly. Y'all drop in any questions that you have? And let's, let's kind of wrap up with a couple of different things. So one is, if people are like, Okay, this is cool, but I need more support. Tell us about how they can get in touch with you and work with you and What you've got cookin? Yeah,
Karena Neukirchner 35:01
thank you. So my business is Hello inner light. So I'm at Hello inner light on Instagram and YouTube and all that sort of stuff so you can come follow me. And I am launching a membership right now where I'll be teaching live nervous system regulation classes. It's called the CO regulation community and it's really to help us harness that power of the neuroplasticity, you know, think of it like a membership for yoga classes or exercise classes, they're dropping classes, where you can regularly connect with the community, and help your you know, help your own nervous system come into more calm, help your own nervous system expand. So that's starting April 28. And I'm actually inviting everyone to a free nervous system regulation class with me on April 28. So I think that the link for that will be in the show notes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're, they're short, they're like 25 minute classes, because we just need these bite sized moments of calm and peace. We need these bite sized moments of coming into our center, feeling our body and like I said, over time, we really can increase our capacity for doing that even when we're stressed.
Christina Edwards 36:14
And I want to offer like, as you're speaking, I think one of the reasons why I really like this method a lot for calming my nervous system is because I've read the books I've done the things I've taken the yoga class, I've meditation started and stopped. And one of the places that's hard for me with meditation is the stillness. So the stillness of the mind, but the stillness of the body, right, and so the havening gives that part of me something to focus on, away from, like the not helpful chatter, focus and on the way away from the I'm supposed to be still meditation focus, because I think there's a lot of people out there who feel the way I feel, which is, I'm kind of doing that thing wrong. But I do enjoy the outcome of that thing of the meditation of the stillness. So have you found that to be true for people that they kind of resonate with, with havening? for that? Totally,
Karena Neukirchner 37:07
totally. Yeah, stillness is nearly impossible if you're feeling stressed, or you have anxious thoughts, or a tendency towards overwhelm. And so you'll notice in the beginning, the exercise we started with, like, we were looking for blue, and then we were listening for, you know, different layers of sound, and we're feeling our body. That's one of the best ways to quiet your mind, because it just gives your mind a task. You know, so that looping thoughts that you know, we believe, and we think are so important, and we'll just loop forever and ever and ever. When you give your mind something else to do, that's one of my favorite parts of that exercise is you're saying, hey, brain, will you feel how I'm contacting the chair right now, you know, which not only lets your body know, like, Oh, I'm sitting in a chair, I'm okay. You know, like, I don't have to worry about this threat that's going to be happening or, you know, that I sense could happen, or potentially maybe might happen, or, you know, whatever it is, it gives you this present moment orientation, but it also gives your brain something to do. And that is one of the most effective ways to let your brain get quieter,
Christina Edwards 38:07
for so good. So we asked every guest on the podcast to share what is one thought they like to think on purpose. And for you, like it's got to be an affirmation. So what's one of your favorite go twos or something you kind of lean on? Would you share that with us? Yeah,
Karena Neukirchner 38:24
well, I have a couple because, um, but a few of my favorites right now, I used one of them today. What if I have nothing to prove? Like that feels so good to me to imagine like, oh, right, like, What the hell are you proving anyway, you know, just you. And I like, I also like, what if I'm already worthy, because again, I think like, when I when I burned myself out, when I ran myself into the ground with burnout, it was because I was trying to prove something I was trying, I was trying to prove some sense of love ability or worth, or, you know, value in this world. And so those are one of two of my tripping points. And so I like those informations. And then I also just really like, what if I'm more capable than I realize? Because usually I am actually, you know,
Christina Edwards 39:10
totally. The, I think you had one that was what if it all works out? Right? Like, yeah, that just says to me, I'm like, Oh, I love that so much. It's so freeing. And it's like, right, what if it all works out? So good. Thank you for sharing those with us. Those were so good. I'm gonna write them. I have a memos in my phone that are like, I write I don't write down power thoughts. They're going into the power memo.
Karena Neukirchner 39:37
service to you and you can put it in the show notes or something.
Christina Edwards 39:40
Oh my gosh, that would be so wonderful. Yeah. Um, anything else that you would like to share before we wrap up for today? This has been so amazing. Thank you.
Karena Neukirchner 39:48
Yeah, no, I just love sharing havening because it's kind of a life changer. I think you know, like it's really significant. Our, our nervous system is at the base of everything we think and feel it's at the base Some of our motivations and our perceptions, we don't realize it because it's unconscious. But when we shift it, it can just be really significant how many other things shift in our lives. So yeah, so thanks for giving me the opportunity to share.
Christina Edwards 40:13
Guess and like what you're doing is like, we're loving that side of us. We're loving the side of us. And so they can be a little a little much sometimes. And we're showing her and we're showing them like, we got you and I just Yeah, I think this is such a powerful thing. I know that so many people will go back to to this meditation and also check out your podcast for sure. For more because there's so many great ones on there. Thank you. Thank you. This has been fabulous. And we'll see you next time. Yeah, thanks.