Ep. 223: They Open Every Email. So Why Don’t They Give?
EPISODE 223
They Open Every Email. So Why Don’t They Give?
About the Episode:
Remember the commercials “4 out of 5 dentists recommend…”? That fifth dentist is the reason you believed the other four. Most nonprofits are running a five-out-of-five ad. Every story ends with a win, every update is proof it’s working, and your warmest donors quietly decide you don’t need them.
I’ll show you why a polished highlight reel keeps donors opening but not giving (especially your $25 and $50 donors). I share the research on why one small, honest truth makes the rest of your message more believable, and the empty shelf that brought in donations every time it was posted. Plus: what to say when your board “would never go for this,” and how to tell honesty from guilt.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
Why your warmest donors open, read, and click but never give
What a highlight-reel appeal quietly tells your $25 and $50 donors
The research behind why one small flaw makes your message more believable
The empty shelf that brought in donations every time it was posted
How to tell the truth without sounding like a 911 crisis
What to do when your board “would never go for this”
The math on 400 warm donors who’ve never given
It’s not your stories—it’s how you’re telling them. If your amazing work isn’t getting the attention (and donations) it deserves, it’s time for a messaging shift. The Brave Fundraiser’s Guide guide gives you 10 done-for-you donor prompts to make your message impossible to ignore. Get it for free here! https://christinaedwards.krtra.com/t/xKuLs6tOiPZa
Christina’s Favorite Takeaways:
“People felt more favorably towards a product when a small negative detail was added to an otherwise positive description.” Tel-Aviv University/Stanford Graduate School of Business
“The flaw is what makes the good stuff believable. The flaw is what makes it sticky.”
“The truth makes the donor feel needed.”
“Every single cause area has a version of real stakes that you need to start weaving into your messaging.”
“Your messaging is a leadership decision from you, not a board decision.”
“A confident, brave organization can afford to tell the truth, and that will magnetically pull more donors in.”
“Donors can't help an organization that never fully lets them in.”
Episode Resources:
FREE Resources from Splendid Consulting:
How to Work with Christina and Splendid Consulting:
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Christina Edwards 0:29
We're gonna do a quick flashback today. If you grew up in the '90s or remember a time pre Netflix, pre streaming apps when we were all watching the same commercials, you might remember the one that says four out of five dentists recommend this. Do you remember the brand that they were recommending, the product that this commercial was for? I don't know why, but it really has stuck with me. This like four out of five. It was always a pattern interrupt. It was always a little sticky because I kept thinking about that damn fifth dentist, that holdout, that last one, and we're going to talk about that holdout today. Now, when I was researching notes for this episode, I was like, "Was it Crest? Was it Colgate?" Okay, so this commercial was actually for Trident, the gum, sugarless gum, and it was a survey that dated back to 1976, so over 50 years ago. And I remember this ad rolling in the 90s, and I kept thinking about that fifth dentist because some marketing team, no doubt, who pitched this ad to Trident could have found a fifth dentist so that they could have said 100% of dentists recommend this product. You with me? They could have found a fifth dentist, but they didn't. Why? But it's because of that fifth dentist, the holdout, that I believe the other four. So think about this: most nonprofits are running a five out of five ad. Now, I'm not talking about actual ads. I'm not talking about commercials. I'm not talking about meta ads. I am talking about your communication. So, every story ends buttoned up, happy impact result done, complete. Every update is a win. Every update is proof it's working. What I believe that's different here is that the polish of perfection isn't protecting you. It's actually telling donors and prospects that we're good. We don't need you. It's all good here. Thumbs up. So who's your fifth dentist? What's your fifth dentist? That's what we're going to be digging into today, because your communications are stuck in the five out of five ad messaging, and donors can tell.
So recently, a leader told me, "Everybody thinks we're doing fine. Donors see the success photos. Our programs are growing. They never see the messy middle." And a big chunk of this particular organization's list, her audience, is actually opening, Engaging, warm, and sitting on their hands, not giving, not taking action. And when I went back and looked at this organization and so many others who find themselves in this loop, which is what we're doing works, and everybody thinks we're growing and fine, and we are growing. We are strong, and and the need for more funding has never been bigger, so you can't hold both true. There's a dissonance for the donor, which is wow, they're rocking and rolling, fully funded. They don't need me. There's there is a subtext that happens when everything is peachy keen in your communications. So if you've ever looked at your your list, your donor list, and you thought, well, they're opening, they're reading, they're clicking. Why aren't they giving? Stay with me. Is your year end appeal? Are your recent campaigns? Is your recent content a highlight reel? We did this, we did that, cheering, we grew, we celebrated, and then a soft like help us do more. You can be a part of making a difference because for some people the answer is really really simple. You never really told them, not in a meaningful way, not in a way that they believed you that you needed them. They see success, they don't see where they fit, particularly your smaller dollar donors, where their $25 gift matters, where their $50 gift matters, and this is true at the mid and major level. But I really want you to think about those smaller individual donations because it's very easy for a donor to say, "I mean, what difference does my $25 gift make? Does it really matter? Because if you're sending them appeals and emails and content that says we're growing, things are awesome, that is confirming that hunch they're having, which is they don't need me.
Christina Edwards 6:19
Now look, there's an important reason why you're keeping your messaging professional. You want to look sound. You want your organization to look financially, structurally sound. That's smart. That's a good decision. Nobody is wanting to give to a sinking ship. Okay, donors want their investment, whether it's $25 or $25,000 to go towards an organization that's competent, that's stable. Maybe you're protecting the brand, right? You're protecting your board. You're protecting your job. You don't want to say 911. Everything's bad. We need your help, and that I want to honor too. We're going to address in this episode. But there's a fear underneath. If I tell them it's hard, then they'll think we're failing, and we'll lose them. That's the loop. But I want you to think about this. And I get it. It's a lot like my middle schooler with a test grade, a bad test grade, right? You want to lead with the good news, and you'd love for the hard part just to not come up. If we could all just collectively avoid that and celebrate the win over here, that would be great. But this is where that thought breaks down. When you hide the struggle, you don't keep donors, you don't retain more donors, and you certainly don't upgrade donors. Some of them quietly decide you're fine without them. You lose them anyway. You just don't find out why. And that is a very expensive lesson. The donations that never show up in a loss report, right? It's just gifts that never come. That's exactly why, if you're listening to this and you're not inside one of my coaching programs, you need to go apply. I'll tell you more about that later, but I want you to hear it now because this is essential. This is the stuff that's costing you. You can always go to splendidcourses.com/apply for details. Because hiding the struggle doesn't keep donors; it loses them quietly, like softly. Let's talk about the truth. Let's talk about that fifth dentist. Why the truth raises more. I want to share this concept that researchers at Stanford and Tel Aviv University found, called the blemishing effect. So that's essentially. What this is, this four out of five dentists, So they found this is so interesting that people felt more favorably towards a product when a small negative detail was added to an otherwise positive description. The small flaw makes the rest of the description more believable, more human, y'all. That's it. A little more heart, a little more soul into it. So this isn't about taking your communication and your fundraising appeals and your asks and making it doom and gloom, making it 911. This is about what's the real real? Yes, what we do works. Yes, our programs are growing. Yes, we are thriving, and we're struggling over here with this. What is one small but honest flaw to an otherwise strong offer, strong invite for support that people will lean into? That's the fifth, Dennis. The flaw is what makes the good stuff believable. The flaw is what makes it sticky. The flaw is reason why I remember this freaking ad so many years later. So in this study, they found that it works when the small negative comes after the positive. So it might look like we're strong. Here's the part that's still hard. That's where you come in. You with me? It's for dentists. Say sugar-free gum is amazing, great for your teeth. Fifth dentist, not so much. Then the invite, buy sugar free gum. That's it. That's the flow. That's your guardrail.
Christina Edwards 12:47
Again, sounding like a 911 emergency because I do not want you to take this and turn this into I'm telling the truth. To Christina said to tell the real real, and all of a sudden I get your appeal, and it sounds like everything's on fire. The truth makes the donor feel needed. Think about it. The reaction that you're going for is, "I didn't know they needed me. I didn't know my $25 gift matters. The elephant in the room for most donors is that they're feeling like if y'all aren't doing so great, maybe you don't need me anymore. I've been moved to give to an organization because they told me what they were facing. It felt real. I know you have too. Think about that. It felt like okay, they actually need me, not a gala sponsor, me, not $100,000 gift, me. Because the question a lot of your donors are asking is, do they even need me? If everything you send says we're doing great, you've already answered it for them. Now, as I was creating the notes, I thought about this example. This example that I remember seeing, and it's not recent from years ago, a diaper bank that I followed on social media. So imagine walking into a big warehouse. You know, like the big fluorescent lighting. Not good lighting. It's not esthetically beautiful. It's a warehouse. Boxes, forklifts. Now, what they would do is share this one honest photo: the size five diaper shelf. The size five diaper shelf had a pallet, and the pallet had no diapers on it except for one little tiny box of Pampers. Okay, right next to it, you know, down the line, you'd see newborn size one, size two. Well, those were overflowing, stacked up high, and every time they posted about it, donations would come in because people could visualize, like, yes, y'all are rocking it, and also there's no size five diapers because when people are donating product, they ran into this cycle, which is people donate the small diapers for the little babies, right? And so that was it. Think about the why, and the next level is that of that is training your audience not to donate product, but to still illustrate the need and ask for donations. Those shelves are your four dentists, right? They prove people show up. They prove what they do works. But the empty one, the reality check, that's the fifth dentist. Nobody had to write a sad story. Nobody had to say 911. Nobody had to pretend like everything was okay and then just put out a fundraiser for general donations, hoping they could fund this last shelf. Okay, you could see exactly where to come in. Now, I am not telling you this story so that you go spend a lot of time posting on social media. No, no, no, no, no. Unless you have a social street team, Which is the process we teach inside the club to partner with creators and influencers to amplify your audience. On its own, posting on your own social networks is not going to have a strong ROI. A social street team is where the money comes in. Okay, so I want you to think about where could I put a picture like that? Is it in my appeal, right? My direct mail appeal letter, an email, a donation page. What is your version of that picture? This also shows up in the credibility you could be injecting into your copy, into your donation page, into your one-to-one asks, your phone calls, your direct mail letters. Hey, you helped us serve more families than ever this year. But in October, we still had to send three families to a wait list. That's real. Those are real stakes. What are your versions of those real stakes, and how real are you getting with the details of those versions? If you're listening to this and you're like, Christina, I don't have the diaper bank photo to share. Christina, I don't have the equivalent of the wait list.
Christina Edwards 19:13
This is why you need a strategist in your corner because every single cause area has a version of this that you need to start weaving into your messaging. The leaders and fundraisers I coach can almost never spot their own fifth dentist, right? Like we can't see our own stuff. Totally normal. They know the hard thing. They're presenting the challenges to me. For a lot of y'all, the hard thing is overhead. But then your challenge is how do I fundraise for overhead? That's the work we do when we coach together, right? They. But when you're too close to your challenges, even though you're smart and capable fundraiser, it's hard to see and connect the dots between what we do works and the need, and connect those dots for the donor inside the ask. So someone outside is needed, oftentimes who can see it, tell them what to do about it, and inject it into your year-end appeal.
If you're thinking we've tried this, we are doing this, and it's still not converting, then what you are doing is barely skimming the surface. Okay, if you've ever been like out deep, deep, deep in the water in the ocean, and the water was clear enough to see all the way down, like with snorkel mask or goggles or whatever. And all of a sudden, you have that holy shit moment, and you're like, "Oh my god, there's a whole aquarium down here." I want you to think that's what you're doing with your messaging. Like, yeah, you had like mentioned a few things here or there, but instead, the real soul of this, that fifth dentist, is what's down. When I like look down in crystal clear blue water, and I'm like, oh my god, or even when you're like not even in the deep ocean, but you're in the ocean, and you look down in goggles, and there's like 100 fish swimming past you, but like you had no idea. Our donors have no idea, so you need help figuring out what that story is and like which of those little little fish to pluck out and share in your next campaign. This is a big one. If you're concerned that your donors are going to think you're failing, if I'm too honest, they're going to think we are failing. Okay, that is a choice, okay. Strength first. One small truth. You're not saying 911 we're in trouble unless that is the truth, and that is also its own campaign and separate strategy. You're saying here's the strong, here's the growth area, and here's where it's really hard, and we need your your support now, not next year, okay? And don't use it's really hard. That's too vague, right? You want to customize that. This is a big one. I got really, I got really fired up when I was doing this part of the thoughts you might be thinking, which is this sounds great and all, but my board would never go for this, right? They don't want me to talk about what I can see underwater. They don't want me to talk about the thing that is hard. They don't want me to go there, girl. Why are you asking your board? You are in the driver's seat. You are the CEO. You are the executive director. You are the fundraising expert. Your messaging is a leadership decision from you, not a board decision. Your board might have an orthopedic surgeon, an attorney, a professor on it, brilliant people, not the people who should be weighing in on your fundraising messaging. So stop it! Don't do that. Their job is to give, open doors, make connections, introductions. Your job is to boldly, bravely fundraise. So don't ask for permission to tell the truth. If you're worried about guilt tripping people, isn't that just guilt tripping people? No, guilt is manufactured. You know what guilt feels like. Guilt feels like manipulation. You with me? Guilt feels like a pull, feels like a get energy. This is the opposite. This is honest and true. This is vulnerable. This is something they didn't know. This is something you might have carried. If you have to invent a struggle, don't use it. If you are the unicorn who is thinking, honestly, we're doing great. There's nothing hard, really. Love that for you, but maybe your goals aren't big enough.
Christina Edwards 24:29
If you are like chugging along, and like you're gonna hit your goal this year, and like things are good, you just don't have big enough goals. I bet there's still a wait list, a program you had to say no to, a program that you could fill up if you actually had enough funding to launch it, to grow it. Growth always has that kind of fifth dentist, that outlier in it. Find yours. If you're worried. About sounding like you're in crisis. Here's what I want you to think about: It will only sound like a crisis if you go to the well all the time with this. It will only sound like Debbie Downer if you make the entire campaign this. Want you to think about making this an honest moment within a campaign, not a 911 all the time.
I have lost count of the amount of organizations that have come to me in the past two years that have said to me, Christina, that big grant we used to count on, the one that was for $50,000, $300,000, the one we already got, gone, can't get it, not gonna get it, pulled out from under us, and now we don't know what we're gonna do. We might have to shutter our program. We might have to lay off staff. I've already laid off staff. These are realities. There are so many organizations facing this, and y'all are saying it to me, and your donors have no idea. That's your fifth dentist. Now, the nuances. How do we message that in the right way. Sometimes there are certain parts we don't want to publicly put out into the world, and that's totally fine. But you cannot hold that internally inside your organization, and then expect your donors to rise to offset a $300,000 shortfall because you ask them to make a difference. And this is where doing it yourself gets expensive, right? Judgment is a hard part here. Pick the wrong truth, and it backfires. Play it safe. Say nothing, and the people who are ready to give, they just keep waiting, or they lapse. They fall off. We'll do some quick math. Say there are 400 donors on your list that open every email and have never given.. But if one in 10 of those gave just $50 because you did this, you finally showed them what mattered. That's $2,000 from one email. Now do that across every campaign you run this year. The most expensive part of doing this yourself is you don't know what you're missing. You can't fix the fifth dentist. You can't see. You don't know which parts you should be doing yourself. Which parts are quietly costing you? That is the difference between raising 10s of 1000s or even hundreds of 1000s of dollars. So if you think I could use some help with this, I need a strategist. I need a coach in my corner, but you're like, I don't know. You know, we should really reel in expenses right now. I'm not sure. I want you to add up what just one mistruth cost you over the course of the year. That is the number I'd compare it to. So if you're not working with me yet, go. This is your sign. Go apply. Link is in the show notes because a confident, brave organization can afford to tell the truth, and that will magnetically pull more donors in. I want you to remember that perfection is a closed door. Think about it. You know the friend who's like always great every time you ask? They're like good. I'm great. Eventually, you stop asking, not because you don't care, you don't like them, because they never really went there. They never left you. You never saw a way in for more depth. Okay, that's what your asks are doing. It closes the door on the people who would have walked through. Donors can't help an organization that never really fully lets them in. So, decades later, from me hearing that ad over and over again, I still remember that ad. I can't tell you any other detail from that ad? I can't tell you the actors in it, what they were doing, where it took place. I just remember the one who said no.
Christina Edwards 30:32
The truth in it that is the power and the stickiness of telling the truth. It makes everything you say believable. It develops more trust and credibility. It gives your donors a reason to show up because now they know you actually need them. So this year end and any time you are fundraising, stop running the five out of five ad message. Right. Let your donors meet that outlier. Let your donors hear the truth. Go bravely, boldly fundraise this year end. I am cheering you on, and I'll see you in the next one.