Ep. 173: The Hidden Reason You Keep Holding Back in Fundraising
EPISODE 173
The Hidden Reason You Keep Holding Back in Fundraising
About the Episode:
If you’ve ever caught yourself overthinking a donor email, hesitating to post, or waiting for “the perfect timing” to launch your next campaign, this episode is for you.
In today’s episode, I reveal the mindset pattern that’s quietly keeping you stuck: fear disguised as strategy. You’ll learn how to recognize when your “planning” is really just procrastination, why bravery always comes before clarity, and how to finally stop waiting for confidence to arrive before taking action. This is your invitation to stop playing small, lead boldly, and start moving your mission forward, even when it feels uncomfortable.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
The real reason fundraisers hold back from taking action
How fear disguises itself as overplanning and perfectionism
The myth that confidence comes before action (it doesn’t!)
Why “just one more draft” is often procrastination in disguise
Simple mindset shifts to replace hesitation with courageous leadership
Real examples of clients who learned to take messy, brave action
Why bravery builds trust with donors faster than polish ever will
The power of momentum in building confidence and clarity
It’s not your stories—it’s how you’re telling them. If your amazing work isn’t getting the attention (and donations) it deserves, it’s time for a messaging shift. The Brave Fundraiser’s Guide guide gives you 10 done-for-you donor prompts to make your message impossible to ignore. Get it for free here! https://christinaedwards.krtra.com/t/xKuLs6tOiPZa
Christina’s Favorite Takeaways:
“Treat the next few weeks as prime time for fundraising.”
“If you're not feeling at least a little bit uncomfortable this time of year, that is an indication you're probably sitting on the sidelines.”
“The fear of losing connection actually causes disconnection.”
“Every time you pick up the phone, press send, you're actually rewiring your brain's alarm system. Courage is repetition, not luck.”
“Conversions happen after the second or third ask.”
“You're not scaring donors away by asking for a match. You're inviting them into leadership.”
“30% of annual giving happens in December. 10% happens in the last three days of the year.”
“Retained donors are five times more likely to give again. Go to the people who already know, like, and trust you; don't be afraid to ask again.”
Episode Resources:
FREE Resources from Splendid Consulting:
How to Work with Christina and Splendid Consulting:
Double Your Donations - Raise More From Your Laptop Without Chasing Grants or Galas
Easy Emails For Impact™ - Turn Your Inbox into an Income Stream
Donations on Demand: Build a $5K Email Campaign System in 30 min/week
The SPRINT Method™ - Fundraise Like a Pro, 5 Figures At a Time
Connect with Christina and Splendid Consulting:
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*Links may be affiliate links which means I may earn a commission at no cost to you.
Christina Edwards 0:22The Welcome back to the podcast. We are in it. We are in peak fundraising season, and so this episode is a mindset and tactical pep talk that you need right before getting into really the thick of it. So it's giving Tuesday in December giving, because we know that December giving is the highest month for donations for most nonprofit organizations. Okay, so let's dig in. So you know how I say that fundraising shouldn't be a solo sport. That's true, right? You're with me. That's true. You're like, yeah, I don't want to be the old one. Only one fundraising. That's why you're listening to this. But most teams still don't have a quarterback that's calling plays. I'm laughing at myself for using this analogy, because my knowledge of football is not great. But you're gonna stay with me because I know enough about sports in general, baseball, basketball, that we're gonna make this work. So everyone's waiting for consent, consensus, waiting for the fear to go away, waiting for the perfect time. But meanwhile, the clock is running, and the clock is running big time right now, you cannot. I've been talking to a lot of people who were, you know, like, oh, I don't know. Should we do this? Should we do that? I'm not sure. You know, maybe we'll just wait till next year. And what I keep saying to them is, you're going to have to wait another 12 months for this time. It's not can I run maybe we'll just do that email campaign, or maybe I'll ask that donor in a month or two no to get back to the season of giving takes 12 more months, because it will take 12 months to get back to this point all of the other months of the year. We absolutely can fundraise, and I will support you in fundraising, but this point of the year is the inflection point in the calendar year. So it takes 12 months to get back to this perfect time, and that time is right now. So that's why it's really, really important that you treat the next few weeks as prime time for fundraising. So don't wait for that consensus. Don't wait for anything while the clock is running. So if you're like a lot of our clients, you may have already run a campaign in November, maybe even in October, maybe you had a signature event or something like that. So you already feel like Christina, I'm already fundraising. I've already gone to donors, they've already given. There's a lot of that already, right? I've already and now I got to go do it again. Okay, so I want to honor that that may be where you're where you're at, totally fine. Keep listening. So you've already done the thing, and yet GivingTuesday is coming, and you've got year end fundraising, and you're starting to wonder this.
Christina Edwards 3:42
I Right? Are we asking too much? Am I asking too much? Are donors tired of hearing from me? What if they think I'm being pushy? What if the board feels like, God, all I do is bug them. The board thinks I'm naggy. Do the donors think I'm naggy? Does everybody just hate or hate us? Right? You start to really go down that spiral. But the thing is, if you're not feeling at least a little bit Barfy and a little bit uncomfortable this time of year, that is an indication you're probably sitting on the sidelines. I know, I know. So we're going to dig into that a little bit more. So let's dig into first why fundraisers hold back one that fear isn't laziness, that fear of oh, is it too much? Am I being too much? Are we too much? Are we going to turn people off? It's biology. It is biology. When you take these social risks, aka asking again, following, upholding your board members accountable, your amygdala fires that same threat response as if you just touched a hot stove. It's like, yeah, right. It's like, Don't do that again, right? So you want to really first honor that this is a biological chatter, a biological response, because social rejection actually triggers the same neural pathways in your brain. So if it feels Barfy and I'm you. Saying that word, because one of my clients recently said that she's going into a big campaign for year end. And I said, How are you feeling? She said, Honestly, big sigh. Kind of Barfy. And I was like, perfect, right on time. And I know we don't want to feel Barfy, and so I coached her through that. And also barfy's Kind of going to be there, and also it means she's in the arena. Her organization has raised more in the past three months using The SPRINT Method™ system than they have, I believe, all of last year. So, like, isn't the bar fee kind of worth it? Isn't the bar fee kind of worth it? This just like, dropped in for me when I was a kid. We used to go to, like, the Florida Panhandle, which I'm in Atlanta, and back then it was, like, a seven hour drive. I think it's quicker now, and I would always get car sick, like, like, without fail, without fail. I don't know if we even had Dramamine back then, but I don't know. I would just always get car sick without fail. So we knew, like, don't eat a bunch, you know, get the bag ready, get ready to pull over. It was just like part of the deal. Was it worth it to go to the beach? Yes, yes, yes. Like, as somebody who loves the ocean, loves the water, I'm like, if that is the currency to get to the beach, here we go. Here we go. It's worth it little Barfy, literally. So let's get into why fundraisers go back into why you might be holding back.
Here's another reason. Okay, the fear of losing connection actually causes disconnection. So stay with me, because that's kind of meta. Nonprofits are terrified of losing the donor relationship, risking the relationship, if I call again, if I ask again, they might get pissed off. They might never give again. They might pull back right instead of instead of giving again. But that fear actually keeps you it pulls you back. Instead of leaning in, you're avoiding risk, and in doing so, you're creating distance. It's wild. So let me give you an example. It's like, you go out on a date, and it's an amazing date, but then, like, everybody agrees. Both parties agree, right? They're like, Oh my gosh, I felt such a connection with him. It was so good. I felt such a connection. It was awesome. But then you ghost each other, right? He's like, I don't want to seem too eager, so I'm not going to follow up, right? I'm going to play it cool. It ends up killing the spark, and that's what happens when you go quiet on donors after you ask, versus following up. Let's go into some marketing and sales psychology. We know it takes at least eight touch points, if not 18, before somebody asks, right? So before somebody actually hits, buy, hits, donate, it takes at least eight. I see at least 18 for some some use cases. Now that's even with data from HubSpot and Salesforce benchmarks. So if we know that, one polite email, a couple of social posts, one phone call and months of silence. Isn't respect, it's invisibility. You're risking the relationship by not following up you with me. And it takes guts. It takes feeling a little Barfy, but to me, that's worth it for the people you serve, for the communities you impact. I'd rather sign up for feeling a little uncomfortable and help more people, then play it cool. Mr. Cool over here and make a lesser impact. Make a lesser impact, right? Everything I do in my own business is literally following that I'd rather flub a video, screw up on a podcast, have a webinar, just have issues, right? I had a total Debbie Downer in a webinar recently, and it was like, yeah, not ideal to have somebody in in the chat just being like, eye Rolly, right? I'd rather take that any day to help the hundreds of people on the webinar who were like, holy shit. Thank you so much for this. I know what I need to do. I can't wait. I'm all in, right? That's worth it. I'll take some naysayers to get the people who are like, I'm all in, okay with me, not ideal and worth it.
So now we're going to dig into what's holding what holding back looks like in real life. Holding back looks like not sending another appeal, because we've already emailed them twice. We already sent our direct mail twice. We have a lot of clients inside the club where we do more advanced techniques, where we layer on direct mail to email, social, digital, the whole deal. And I hear a lot of well, we usually do this, and you know me, so I'm like, great, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to push you over here. We're going to increase the quality and the frequency of what you usually do, and it's a little uncomfortable, right? Not calling after leaving a voicemail. That's another example where you're like, why I left a voicemail? So I check the box. No, no, no, no. We follow up, letting. A board member. We just coached. I just coached somebody on this letting the board member off the hook, who's promised to share your campaign. When your board says, I got you, I'm gonna help you. I'm with you all the way. Just let me know how I can help. And then they ghost you. You have two options. One, you can resent them and be mad at them and just be like, Fine, arms crossed. I'm gonna have to do this all by myself again, or lean in, hold them accountable, editing the Ask until it's polite but powerless. Another client recently sent me something, and he was like, can you go through this? And it was like, you know, going through so many, so many people, so many drafts, so many iterations, that it just was beige, right? And so it starts to have that soft language, right?
So let's dig into the psychology of how you can help mitigate this and kind of grow this skill if you notice that's happening to you. So if you've ever heard about exposure therapy, the exposure therapy effect can help you here, the more you act in the face of fear, the more your brain learns it's safe, the more you call that donor, who you know you need to follow up with. But you feel nervous, but you take the action anyway, the easier that action will be again and again and again. The first time you have that accountability conversation with your board member will be the hardest. The 10th time you have it with a different board member in a different year, it will be much, much easier. So every time you pick up the phone, press send, you're actually rewiring your brain's alarm system. Courage is repetition, not luck. So if you're feeling fear right now, that's okay. It means you're expanding. It means you're growing. Homeostasis is not always growth. It's just cozy comfort. So we're gonna go back to the coaches playbook here. So how to stop playing small? o we're going to go back to the coaches playbook here. So how to stop playing small? What should you do? If you're like, Yes, I see this now. What? So first step, run a follow up play. Run a follow up play. Following up isn't nagging its leadership. One of the biggest ways that you could raise another 50k plus in your year end campaign is simply by following up the lie that we think is, I need more new donors, but unless you've squeezed the juice from your current constituents, that's not true. New donors are great. We always want to drive new traffic into your organization. That's a yes. That's a yes and but right now, if your goal is to raise another 10,20, 50k I want you to follow up with the donors you have. I want you to upgrade. I want you to ask and ask again. Okay, not in a like houndy, you know, graspy kind of way, but marketing shows that conversions happen after the second or third ask. So what could you do? You could resend emails to non openers. You can call again. You could tell a different story angle. Don't repeat the same script that you already said. You could text donors. You know, personally, I'm, I love, a personal goal. You can have a wide goal. Say your goal for your organization is $50,000 Hey, it's Christina. I'm personally trying to raise $2,000 I'm halfway to my goal. I'd love it, if you could help. That's it. That's how you raise it. $50 at a time, $100 at a time, and then somebody will surprise you and be like, here's 500 bucks. Boom, you're only almost to your goal. You with me.
Christina Edwards 13:47
So one of my clients followed up, even though she felt this pit in the stomach, nervous, doesn't that? Should I coached her through that, prepped her for that follow up call, that fall follow up call unlocked a five figure gift. It's Barfy, but it's also brilliant. Like again, is it worth it? Yeah, yeah. The Accountability huddle, yes. So if you're bored your staff, somebody says, I got you and they didn't help you, have two options, resent them or leave them. Revisit the expectations, give them the scripts, give them the toolkit. Make it easy to ask, because remember, in this instance, you're the quarterback. They just need the play, not permission. They need that accountability. And I also think they need that kind of cheerleader energy, or quarterback energy, whatever appeals more to you.
Next thing that I want you to try is asking bigger, not softer. You're not scaring donors away by asking for a match. You're inviting them into leadership. So I had a client, several clients now, who were working on getting donor matches for their campaigns, and they've a couple of different ones. So one. In particular, had never asked for a donor match before, so it was completely uncharted territory. So we coached her into that process, and she has since secured a dozen donor matches. Another client said to me, you know, I think I have somebody I can ask. I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna give it a shot. And that donor was absolutely delighted, and said, No one's ever asked me to do that before. It was like, an honor. It was an honor for them. When you're not asking your donors, you're like, they're missing, they're missing out on achieving some of their philanthropic goals. Think about how good that might have felt for them to be like, shoulders back, like I'm a donor match for this campaign. How fun. So step three, embrace the bar. I think we've gotten through that. So just know that discomfort, that nervousness, that maybe kind of sweat clenchy feeling is your body just trying to maintain that homeostasis. Feel it. Don't fight it. But I also say don't wait for it to leave. Expect it like you're going to feel a Little nervous, and that's okay. That's okay.
Christina Edwards 16:23
so remember why it's worth it. This is the year end. This is our time. 30% of annual giving happens in December. 10% happens in the last three days of the year. I'm telling all of my clients, it ain't over till it's over. We all, all of them, have plans for that last week of the year. You should too. You should too. If you don't have a plan, you need to reach out to me. Depending on where you're at, you need to join one of my programs, or at least grab easy Easy Emails For Impact™. Retained donors are five times more likely to give again. If there's any theme we're underscoring from today's episode, it's that go to the people who already know, like and trust you, don't be afraid to ask again. Don't be afraid to ask again, especially if it's in the same calendar year. It's okay. 26% to 30% of online gifts in December come from email. This is why we opened up Easy Emails For Impact™. You're welcome to join the course at 50% off. Grab our system, our easy email system, grab our our Ask map, campaign planner and all of our email templates. So if there's ever a month to risk a little discomfort in sending more emails, higher quality, higher frequency, higher converting emails, it's December, it's not the time to coast. It's the time to connect. So every time you hesitate, just remember this, the silence, like the not doing costs, connection costs, confidence costs, cash flow, the courage compounds when I do the hard thing once, and then I do it again, and I do it again, I get a compound effect, and I become somebody who's braver and better at doing those hard things. And that hard thing will make your organization a lot of money, and that money will help a lot of people with me, the world doesn't need you to be polite. It needs you to be effective. It needs you to be brave. So you're not annoying donors. You're reminding them that you still exist and that the need still exists. Sometimes there is a misnomer. The donors feel I donated and they're good. They're peachy. They got what they need. Box checked. It is your job to say you donated. Here's what that made possible, and here's what we're going towards next. You with me? Like, where's the vision forward? Here is the new obstacle. Here's the new problem, here's the new thing. We're trying to fund. Your job is to tell them that and then invite them to give. If you don't know how to do that, I'm happy to help you do that.
Christina Edwards 18:46
So if your stomach's doing flips right now, that's good. It means you care. It means you're in it. It means you're leading. Fundraising success isn't about who has the biggest list, who has the most wealthy people. It's about who has the most courage to make the next play and who isn't waiting, who isn't staying in draft mode, who isn't prepping. So remember, you can't win from the sidelines. Remember December, it is prime time, so really hit the gas hard. You're allowed to take time off, you're allowed to rest, you're allowed to have a beautiful holiday season. You're allowed to schedule out your social posts and your emails. But I really want you to think about, how do I create a December that is so powerful and so profitable for our organization, but that by January 1, I feel good, I feel proud of myself for what I put in, and I feel excited about what we're able to do with that funding coming into the next year. That's the energy. That's the energy of December. Okay, I will see you in the next one. Bye. You.